Fundamentals of effective cramming

In my entire academic life, I can safely say that I have already mastered the art of cramming. Yes, cramming is indeed, an art. Despite what most people think, it takes an undeniably exceptional skill to pull off a cramming session and still emerge unwounded. Of course, the output of the session must give you, at least, satisfactory results. This logically follows that cramming should be executed with thorough preparation and undivided commitment. In short, to be an effective crammer, one must be able to cram the right way. Since effective cramming is not formally taught in school, many crammers still come out as flops. So, in order for every co-crammer to harvest good fruits from the activity, here are some musts on how to cram the proper way.

1. Six cups of coffee. Ten is the ideal.
Needless to say, caffeine comes in very useful in the cramming activity, especially if one needs to stay up so late. Ten out of ten crammers will emphatically agree. When to take this? It is suggested that one should consume a cup of coffee before he begins the session. Remaining cups may be downed during the entire activity at specific intervals. Caffeine can be administered orally or intramuscularly.

2. Prepare an arsenal of foods.
Feed your brain! For it to function well, you must consume food. It need not be a heavy meal, sandwiches will do. Apples and chocolate bars are highly recommended. They stimulate your brain cells.

3. Assemble all the important materials.
Books, pens, notebook, extra sheets, extra pen, internet connection, ample light, clean work desk. What’s the purpose of cramming if you don’t have all your materials?

4. It’s now time to work your butt off.
I know, this is the sucky part. The reason why you resorted to cramming in the first place is to avoid work, but whether you like it or not, it has to be accomplished. So, first things first. Arrange your stuff. Go over the topics and lessons you need to work on, then allot time for each. Once done, start the session. If you want to add a little something to this very tedious activity, you might want to consider my suggestion. Every time you engage yourself in cramming, time your whole session. Record your best times, then learn to outdo yourself by beating those.

5. After working, get some rest.
But then you realize, you had indeed stayed up so late – it’s already the break of day. Just in time for breakfast.

So far, the things in this list have been found feasible. Crammers who follow the list above are able to reap good fruits from the process. Hopefully, this may serve as a useful tool for other crammers out there. Just always remember, cram the right way!

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About Kenneth Theodore

I translate ethnic slurs. View all posts by Kenneth Theodore

7 responses to “Fundamentals of effective cramming

  • yoshke

    wahahahahaha. nice nice entry. when i was in college, i also mastered the art of cramming. but it was a completely different story coz i didn’t just have to write papers. i needed to come up with a good film the night before the deadline. and because you can’t make a film alone (usually), it pays to have friends, haha, who procrastinate just as much.

  • pol

    gosh. after reading this entry, I suddenly missed my high school days in LS Greenhills. Back then, I was a master in cramming. I remember one time, yung book review for Wuthering Heights, I think, ginawa ko lang three days before the deadline. eh you’re supposed to read it like in a month or so. Pero ako in three days. Haha. pero nung college, i changed na. haha. pero minsan, masarap pa ring mag-cram. Haha. Thanks for this entry Ken. hahahahaha!

  • Ken

    Haha. You’re bringing back your glory days. Nyay. Haha. Well, it’s always nice to reminisce old memories. But then, you’ll realize, you’re getting older and older. Haha. Joke lang Sir. Hahaha!

  • MC

    Why have I not read this before? Parang ngayon ko lang ito nakita sa entries mo. Hahaha. Anyway, those tips are sooooo true. Being an arrant crammer myself, I definitely agree. WHOOOO!

    Sobrang sabaw ng entries mo dude. Not the negative connotation of the word though. I think this one’s clever, pero sabaw. Haha, basta! :P :P

  • sam concepcion

    interesting! i can relate! hehehe! very useful!

  • sam concepcion

    ill add something…

    when cramming, always think that your prof cannot fail you! para naman di masyadong ngaragan ang cramming!

  • kibitzer101

    Hahaha. Benta ka Sir JP! :)

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