Monthly Archives: March 2008

Formicidae

Apparently, my room has been colonized by the busiest eusocial insects in the biosphere. Yes, you’re right. Ants have taken over my haven and they’re starting to build a colony. They’re all over my pad. They’re on my desk, under my bed, in my closet, and maybe tomorrow I might just discover that they have already finished constructing their anthill on my doorway.

This then reminds me of the movie, The Ant Bully. It’s not specifically about ants invading a room. But to associate the film to my situation, I’ll give a succinct background of the movie. Needless to say, the story revolves around an “ant bully” named Lucas. He is always picked by people around him, so as a form of retaliation, he resorts to bullying the ants. Of course in movies, anything can be possible. Hence, the talking ants. One ant has suggested that Lucas should be given a lesson he won’t forget. The ants have come up with a plan of turning Lucas into one of them, an ant, to make him realize the value of being one. Lucas then turns into an ant through some magical beverage. To countermand the spell, he must do something good for the whole colony, which he has successfully done. In the end, Lucas and the ants have developed resonance, and have become better living organisms.

Now, I am not the type of person who believes in the morals that cheesy films try to impart. But I must admit, The Ant Bully moved me. Before, I used to mercilessly dispatch ants by means of stomping. But everything has changed after I saw the film. I already stopped killing them. And the surprising thing is I have become clement toward them. As a matter of fact, there was one time when I helped the ants gather food for the rainy season.

Back to my room being colonized. Indeed, I have been faithful to my mantra of not killing ants anymore. It’s been a year now since I last murdered a domestic ant in my room. But considering the situations right now, I am bound to infract my pledge. I need to slay the ants in my room for fear that they might turn it into something I cannot even imagine. Moreover, they have also conquered my wardrobe. This is the suckiest part. I wasn’t aware of their settlement in my wardrobe until I got bitten the other day by an ant near my areola. Crappy, I know.

I’ll be calling an exterminator. Soon. God, even in this situation, I still procrastinate.


Pedagogues

In a real world, teachers should get higher salaries than, say, baseball players. Apparently, that’s not the status quo. Baseball players receive jillions of bucks by merely scoring a home run, hitting the baseball whether bluntly or powerfully, or by just catching a ball. Now, I must note that playing baseball is not as easy as a walk in the park. It is rather a strenuous sport wherein a player must develop biceps in order to swing a bat. Sheer athleticism is also an issue here. In a nutshell, baseball is not designed for the fainthearted.

But I am not convinced by these facts. I am still sticking to my belief that teachers should be paid higher than Babe Ruth. Their efforts should be remunerated. After all, it is them who helped and molded the baseball players to become who they are today. They should get perquisites. Say, monthly subscription of Reader’s Digest, or maybe Time Magazine or something to that effect. Nike should act as sponsors for their uniforms in the interest of professionalism. Moreover, Donna Karan, known for her delicate and chic clothing designs, should create fashionable knitwears for our educators to promote lifestyle and aesthetic appreciation. All chalkboards must be ditched away. Whiteboards, on the other hand, should be used in lieu of this. Chalkdusts are deemed to be bad for one’s health, especially when they are inspired down. In order for teachers to arrive in school on time, Porsche should sign a contract ratifying their obligation for these educators, which is to give them away their latest car models.

These are just few of the bills that I will work out if ever I get elected for public office. Then again, I suddenly come alive.


Why She Wore Lipstick In Her Mastectomy

I wanted to murder boredom, so I conspired with the cable channels. I arbitrarily browsed through practically all TV channels in search of a good show. And HBO did not fail in giving me one.

The film is called Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy and it is based from the book written by Nancey Silvers. Mastectomy, as defined by Wiki, is the medical term for the surgical removal of one or both breasts to eradicate a malignant tumor. In layman’s term, it is done to terminate breast cancer. This then shall give you a clue on how the story will flow.

Geralyn Lucas is the lead female character in the movie. She has recently graduated from journalism school and landed a dream job at a very young age. Her life revolves around her great husband and friends. It is essentially the greatest period of her life. However, everything suddenly changes when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. You know how the C word destroys your system. Her weight drops sharply, her crowning glory becomes sparse. It is some sort of a nemesis. Trying to compose and gather herself, while losing her vibrancy, Geralyn discovers self-acceptance by relying on her husband, friends, courage, humor and of course, her red lipstick. At the end of the day, everything falls in the right place. She had a child, became stronger and tougher. The story simply implies that if we believe in ourselves, everything will come into place.

Each one of us, I believe, has their own “red lipstick” in life. In everything Geralyn Lucas does, she needs to have a stroke of her red lipstick. When she underwent mastectomy, when she graced in a magazine to share her struggle against cancer, she wore her red lipstick. It gives her the courage to go on with life, despite the tribulations that took place. I must note though that the use of red lipstick as a source of courage is interestingly weird. But whatever. If I may reiterate, it just shows that everyone of us has their own way of getting away from it all, no matter what kind of source it is.


Long-limbed freak

It occurred to me recently to measure the length of my limbs. Compared to my peers, I have relatively long arms of which I am rather thankful for. You see, having long limbs comes in very advantageous on specific instances.

1. You can reach the switch of the lamp on the side table next to your bed without exerting much effort.
Enough said.

2. You don’t need to tip your feet upward whenever you have to reach something.
For instance, a book on top of a shelf.

3. If your mortal enemy sits or stands beside you, you can vengefully and at the same time, secretly hit him by spreading your arms.
This is really malign in nature. But whatever. In case he or she comes up to you and asks what the hell is your problem, tell him or her you were just well, spreading your arms, lest a spasm will contract your muscles.

4. You’re the first one to be called whenever your class holds a recitation.
In order for students to answer a question provided by the teacher, they have to raise their hands. In case all of you are well, raising your hands, the students who have longer arms stand a good chance of getting called first. Of course, this only applies to arrant geeks. Who wants to recite in the first place?

5. You can easily scratch your back if it’s itchy.
Enough said.

These are only some of the situations in which long limbs are useful. But having short limbs is not that bad also. But that would then be a different story.


Arising from hibernation

Much as I want to fume my rants and raves on the recent controversies that persistently haunt the Arroyo administration, I chose to remain silent and passive about it. You say it’s being indifferent and unsympathetic. Perhaps, it’s rather true. But I guess it’s more of being fed up and despondent. We have been in situations like this in the past, but we just never learned. Don’t get me wrong, though. I am fully supporting everyone’s fight against blatant corruption. But something just hinders me. And that is something to mull over tonight.

On a lighter note, I just want to inform you guys how happy I am these past days. Two weeks ago, I took the Advertising Qualifying Examination, along with other 100 aspirants. Before you can actually take up major subjects for advertising, you should first pass the qualifying exam administered by the department. It was a Model SAT Test with lots of items from English, Trigonometry and Profound Geometry.

I must admit, I got completely creamed in that test. On the day of the exam, I wasn’t able to eat my breakfast since I was hustling to reach the school on time. So my brain didn’t function quite well, especially on the Reading Comprehension part. I just used my skimming and scanning skills in answering that section. And because we were under time constraints, I wasn’t able to read the last three readings. That would mean 10 items in the comprehension part. So I had no choice but to just summon intelligent guesses in these items. I did that part very rapidly, which made me really uncertain of my standing. I need a grade that will admit me in the program.

Fortunately, after two weeks of waiting, I got in. So did everyone else that I know. And what’s more surprising, I was in the top five out of 100 who took the exam. Kringle, being the consummate geek that she is, garnered the top spot. I’m so proud of you, Kringle. I’m so proud of us. We can now formally call ourselves Economics and Advertising Management students.