Long-limbed freak

It occurred to me recently to measure the length of my limbs. Compared to my peers, I have relatively long arms of which I am rather thankful for. You see, having long limbs comes in very advantageous on specific instances.

1. You can reach the switch of the lamp on the side table next to your bed without exerting much effort.
Enough said.

2. You don’t need to tip your feet upward whenever you have to reach something.
For instance, a book on top of a shelf.

3. If your mortal enemy sits or stands beside you, you can vengefully and at the same time, secretly hit him by spreading your arms.
This is really malign in nature. But whatever. In case he or she comes up to you and asks what the hell is your problem, tell him or her you were just well, spreading your arms, lest a spasm will contract your muscles.

4. You’re the first one to be called whenever your class holds a recitation.
In order for students to answer a question provided by the teacher, they have to raise their hands. In case all of you are well, raising your hands, the students who have longer arms stand a good chance of getting called first. Of course, this only applies to arrant geeks. Who wants to recite in the first place?

5. You can easily scratch your back if it’s itchy.
Enough said.

These are only some of the situations in which long limbs are useful. But having short limbs is not that bad also. But that would then be a different story.


About Kenneth Theodore

I translate ethnic slurs. View all posts by Kenneth Theodore

7 responses to “Long-limbed freak

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