Apparently, my room has been colonized by the busiest eusocial insects in the biosphere. Yes, you’re right. Ants have taken over my haven and they’re starting to build a colony. They’re all over my pad. They’re on my desk, under my bed, in my closet, and maybe tomorrow I might just discover that they have already finished constructing their anthill on my doorway.

This then reminds me of the movie, The Ant Bully. It’s not specifically about ants invading a room. But to associate the film to my situation, I’ll give a succinct background of the movie. Needless to say, the story revolves around an “ant bully” named Lucas. He is always picked by people around him, so as a form of retaliation, he resorts to bullying the ants. Of course in movies, anything can be possible. Hence, the talking ants. One ant has suggested that Lucas should be given a lesson he won’t forget. The ants have come up with a plan of turning Lucas into one of them, an ant, to make him realize the value of being one. Lucas then turns into an ant through some magical beverage. To countermand the spell, he must do something good for the whole colony, which he has successfully done. In the end, Lucas and the ants have developed resonance, and have become better living organisms.

Now, I am not the type of person who believes in the morals that cheesy films try to impart. But I must admit, The Ant Bully moved me. Before, I used to mercilessly dispatch ants by means of stomping. But everything has changed after I saw the film. I already stopped killing them. And the surprising thing is I have become clement toward them. As a matter of fact, there was one time when I helped the ants gather food for the rainy season.

Back to my room being colonized. Indeed, I have been faithful to my mantra of not killing ants anymore. It’s been a year now since I last murdered a domestic ant in my room. But considering the situations right now, I am bound to infract my pledge. I need to slay the ants in my room for fear that they might turn it into something I cannot even imagine. Moreover, they have also conquered my wardrobe. This is the suckiest part. I wasn’t aware of their settlement in my wardrobe until I got bitten the other day by an ant near my areola. Crappy, I know.

I’ll be calling an exterminator. Soon. God, even in this situation, I still procrastinate.


About Kenneth Theodore

I translate ethnic slurs. View all posts by Kenneth Theodore

11 responses to “Formicidae

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