Monthly Archives: July 2008

Quizzes make me barf

*WORLD HISTORY*
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief and concise, yet specific.

*ASTRONOMY*
Define the universe; give three examples.

*MEDICINE*
You will be provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

*COMPUTER SCIENCE *
Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, create a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

*PUBLIC SPEAKING*
Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin, Hebrew, or Greek.

*CIVIL ENGINEERING*
This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

*MECHANICAL ENGINEERING*
The disassembled parts of a howitzer have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

*ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING*
You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.

*BIOLOGY*
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500,000 years earlier, with special attention to the probable effect, if any, on the Philippine social spectrum circa 1640. Prove your thesis.

*RELIGION*
Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

*MUSIC*
Write a full piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

*LOGIC*
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

*CHEMISTRY*
You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison.

*PSYCHOLOGY*
Based on your knowledge of their early works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: *Alexander of Aphrodisias , Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi.* Support your evaluations with quotations from each man’s work, making appropriate references. Translate all quotations in Filipino.

*SOCIOLOGY*
Identify the sociological problems which might be associated with the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

*ECONOMICS*
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

*MATHEMATICS*
You have 60 seconds to mentally solve the mathematical problem below. Begin.
8,256.091 + _________ – ________ x ________ 8 ________ = -38.07623

(Bonus question: Why is 11 not pronounced “onety one?” Provide a full numerical analysis in justifying your answer.)

*POLITICAL SCIENCE*
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

*ART*
Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.


Choice

Obviously, there is no need to be verbose or gabby with regard to how I feel about you. Words simply cannot replace the sharp feelings of pleasure, excitement and satisfaction I get every time I greet you ‘Good morning’ the moment I wake up and ‘Good night’ before I log Z’s.

For the most part, a lot of people have seen some seemingly drastic changes in me. My mindset, my attitude, my outlook. I then reference my friend’s observation: ‘Whatever happened to Ken? The Ken who once asserted that he is not at all romantic?’

Two years ago, I was in the same predicament. ‘Predicament?’, you ask, when in fact I should be feeling exultantly proud and joyful. Apparently, everything is not exactly in the right place. It’s difficult because this time, the feelings I have are sharper and more intense. The mere presence of this person is enough to turn a frown into a smile. Every time I gaze at this person, my heart slowly melts. And ironically, my whole body freezes. Suddenly, all my defenses dissipate.

I managed to hold on to my last straw of rationality. I grasped my turf to the end, but that was after I grappled with my emotions.

I can only but guess what happened to the old skeptical Ken. Perhaps he sneaked back into the depths of his subconscious. Or probably he went to some remote universe because his emotions for this particular person overpowers him. After all, everyone is entitled to take a respite, yes?

For now, I guess I’ll just torture myself by watching Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. Ah, romantic flicks.


Point Z

I’ve said it a million times: You will never get it.

I live in a quadrant in which the characters are intrinsically unpredictable, while on the other hand, you dwell in a rather virtual world wherein the movements of your characters are dependent on the clicks of your mouse and the electrical signals sent by your keyboard.

I weave, balance and dodge in uncertainty and volatility of life. At one point, people in my world smile and frolic, and then after a few seconds, they glower. Fickle, indeed. But despite that, I like it here. Why? One reason being that the people here have found a bazillion other ways to enjoy and end their elusive lives. Unlike in your world, no matter how creative and inventive it is, the plot line is stark absolute and trammelled. It only narrows down to only two possibilities: triumph or defeat.


Short requiem

I can’t bring myself to even finish putting my thoughts into this paper, or at the very least my thoughts into words. I feel like I am about to crash into a bastioned wall, which wouldn’t burst despite the rather powerful smash. After crashing, I’d enter entropy. I am dying. A few more days, I’d either scotch my wrists, get into an overdose or jump off a building, and no one will even notice I am gone. No one will care.

As I deal with my own demise, I see a face. Only your face. By this time, you ought to be fading away from my thoughts. But no, I still see your face with my bare eyes. Something in me wants to hold on to you. Or rather, my entire self wants to. But you will never get it anyway. I love you. Cue requiem.


iPhone craze

So iPhone will be officially available in the market very soon. I’m pretty sure it will create furor amongst gadget lovers and techies. Well, we can’t blame them. What’s not to love about iPhone? First, it’s not just a multimedia mobile phone. But it’s a smartphone that runs an OS X, has Safari(browser), 8GB of memory(it varies), and to top it all off, it’s a touch screen iPod.

I’m also thinking of getting one purely because my current phone has gone crackers. Plus, I’d get an iPhone because when it comes to gadgets, nothing beats Apple’s attention to the user experience.

If Apple reaches its target sales of 10 million units, it’ll be because it appeals to ordinary people who seek for functionality and utility, not to arrant techies who drool over the technical specifications of the mobile phone.

 


Too much Mathematics, eh?

Consummate geeks out there! How do you read the logo of Armani Exchange?

It’s A such that X. Go figure.

Armani Exchange