Brrrrrt! That feels good!

And now, let us consider the art of farting and its trickiness. Yes, farting is indeed very tricky. It is the most surreptitious thing a person would do deliberately or not. Most people get rattled when they feel that there’s an air bubble percolating in their butts, especially when they’re with someone, or in a meeting, or in an enclosed quadrant. You suddenly feel the tightness in your whole body (not to mention the butt) and start to sense the air is sucking out of you. You fluster. Beads of sweat start to come out. Suddenly, you learn how to pray. You finally realize that this whole thing is a cunning game. And to win this game, you must simply figure out which approach to employ and then what to do after. Of course, you wouldn’t have to go through the whole ordeal when you’re alone or in your bedroom.

More often than not, fart comes in the most unexpected and awkward place and event. It catches you off-guard. I wonder why. Of course, the best (and probably, the only) way to handle it is to keep it to yourself and think of how to get to the door before it hits anyone. Then again, this one is very risky.

Strangely, it seems that fart is a whole separate entity. It will always have its shrewd way of sneaking back to its owner. There maybe a long list of techniques to avoid being found out, however, this requires sheer cleverness. Some people would promptly spray cologne into their bodies to shroud the bad odor. Some might bring in a new topic to talk about. While others would lift one butt cheek to provide the fart a clear path and slowly squeeze it out, hoping it wouldn’t have a musical accompaniment.

Farts can also lead to sorts of health problems – ulcers, gastroenteritis, and other gastrointestinal problems – if we intervene its emergence. So it is better to just let it all out; don’t fear being shunned or ostracized. Let it loose. Be proud! Some experts say it is even healthy to fart for you release air toxins out of your body. Just one tip, though. Do it with style and grace!

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About Kenneth Theodore

I translate ethnic slurs. View all posts by Kenneth Theodore

15 responses to “Brrrrrt! That feels good!

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