Tag Archives: sabaw

Yet again

Schmuckoo: Dude!

The Muddled Dweeb: Leave me alone.

Schmuckoo: Dude!

The Muddled Dweeb: Please man. I am sabaw (read: excess supply of cerebrospinal fluid) as of the moment. Please refrain from having small conversations with me or else…

Schmuckoo: Hey, chill! Sabaw is good, you know.

The Muddled Dweeb: *slowly lightens up* Oh yes. Absolutely! If it were not for sheer sabaw-ness, human civilization, as we all know it, would have long fallen into apocalypse.

Schmuckoo: Precisely, man. 

The Muddled Dweeb: Cheers!

Schmuckoo: Cheers!


Quizzes make me barf

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief and concise, yet specific.

Define the universe; give three examples.

You will be provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, create a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin, Hebrew, or Greek.

This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

The disassembled parts of a howitzer have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500,000 years earlier, with special attention to the probable effect, if any, on the Philippine social spectrum circa 1640. Prove your thesis.

Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

Write a full piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison.

Based on your knowledge of their early works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: *Alexander of Aphrodisias , Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi.* Support your evaluations with quotations from each man’s work, making appropriate references. Translate all quotations in Filipino.

Identify the sociological problems which might be associated with the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

You have 60 seconds to mentally solve the mathematical problem below. Begin.
8,256.091 + _________ – ________ x ________ 8 ________ = -38.07623

(Bonus question: Why is 11 not pronounced “onety one?” Provide a full numerical analysis in justifying your answer.)

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.

Why she hates cutting her fingernails

Nail Bitch: “I really hate cutting my fingernails. It’s difficult to shift the button thingy on the top side of my iPod.”

Ken: “I know! Well, it would be easy if you have two incredibly large front teeth.”

Nail Bitch: “Right! Haha!” *throws her iPod* “Crap! I’m fucking pissed off!”

Ken: *whispers to myself* “Good thing I never cut mine. I just let them come off when they’re ready.”


A rather stochastic thought struck me while I was in the middle of my attempt to fall into deep slumber: employers should require everyone to include a brief summary of their past intimate relationships in their curriculum vitae. How is this relevant to the whole process? I’m still figuring it out. Meantime, I’ll recollect.


In a real world, teachers should get higher salaries than, say, baseball players. Apparently, that’s not the status quo. Baseball players receive jillions of bucks by merely scoring a home run, hitting the baseball whether bluntly or powerfully, or by just catching a ball. Now, I must note that playing baseball is not as easy as a walk in the park. It is rather a strenuous sport wherein a player must develop biceps in order to swing a bat. Sheer athleticism is also an issue here. In a nutshell, baseball is not designed for the fainthearted.

But I am not convinced by these facts. I am still sticking to my belief that teachers should be paid higher than Babe Ruth. Their efforts should be remunerated. After all, it is them who helped and molded the baseball players to become who they are today. They should get perquisites. Say, monthly subscription of Reader’s Digest, or maybe Time Magazine or something to that effect. Nike should act as sponsors for their uniforms in the interest of professionalism. Moreover, Donna Karan, known for her delicate and chic clothing designs, should create fashionable knitwears for our educators to promote lifestyle and aesthetic appreciation. All chalkboards must be ditched away. Whiteboards, on the other hand, should be used in lieu of this. Chalkdusts are deemed to be bad for one’s health, especially when they are inspired down. In order for teachers to arrive in school on time, Porsche should sign a contract ratifying their obligation for these educators, which is to give them away their latest car models.

These are just few of the bills that I will work out if ever I get elected for public office. Then again, I suddenly come alive.


February. This is the month wherein all singles simultaneously hibernate and pad out. What’s the point of existing in the biosphere during this month? They, or should I say, we don’t have any reason to celebrate the month. We’re loveless. And it sucks.

All singles out there. Let’s sleep on February 14 the whole day. Cheers!

Again, sorry for the very sabaaaaaaaaw atmosphere in this entry.